Or as non-US citizens know it as, another work day. In honor of my nation's freedom from people such as Gordon White*, I bring you the best that I have to offer: Scenes from a Pagan Household and a Suggested Vintage Menu for your festivities.Deb: You know you're gonna be grill master at my mom's because you have a pinga, right?
(Jow looks horrified)
Deborah: What? You don't have to --
Jow: What did you say?
(Deb repeats)
Jow: Oh!
Deb: What did you think I said?
Jow: You're going to get grilled by my mom so talk about your pinga.
Deb: What! No! Never talk about your pinga to my mom.
Jow: I don't want to talk about my pinga with your mom, ever.
Deb: Good. You shouldn't. Ever. It's weird and gross.
Jow: But I can totally barbecue. That's not a problem.
Nothing's pleasanter in good weather than the meal on the porch, patio, or terrace. Rules for service are pretty much the same as for indoors; for these meals are prepared in the kitchen in the regular way, and the usual china and silver are used. Table decorations may be a little more suggestive of the outdoors. - The General Foods Cook Book
A Delicious and Frightening Barbecue Menu
Gourmet Avocado Lime Salad
Flaming Cabbage Head with Marinated Cocktail Franks
Lemon Pastel Pie
Gourmet Avocado Lime Salad
1 package Jell-O Lime Dessert
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup boiling water
1 cup cold water
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon grated onion
1 avocado, mashed to smooth paste
Dissolve gelatin and salt in boiling water. Add cold water, lemon juice, and onion. Chill until slightly thickened. Place bowl of gelatin in ice water; beat with egg beater until fluffy and thick. Fold in avocado. Pour into individual molds. Chill until firm. Unmold onto salad greens. Garnish with mayonnaise.
Marinated Cocktail Frankfurters
3 envelopes Good Seasons Italian Salad Dressing Mix
3 small onions, sliced
6 tablespoons chopped green pepper
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
1/2 cup salad oil
3 tablespoons prepared mustard
3 tablespoons vinegar or wine
3 cans (4 oz each) cocktail frankfurters
Combine salad dressing mix, vegetables, oil, mustard, and vinegar in a bowl. Add liquid from frankfurters. Stir to blend. Cut the frankfurters into halves; add to marinade. Let stand 1 to 2 hours. Just before serving, remove frankfurters from marinade and place in a skillet. Cook until heated through, about 3 or 4 minutes, turning often to avoid browning. Spear heated frankfurters with wooden toothpicks into surface of Flaming Cabbage Head, above curled leaves. Before eating, hold each frankfurter over flame in cabbage to reheat. Serve with remaining marinade for dipping.
Flaming Cabbage Head
1 large head cabbage, red or green
1 can canned heat
Marinated Cocktail Frankfurters
Thoroughly rinse head of cabbage. Trim base so cabbage stands steady. To form decorative petals, curl outer leaves down and away from top of head. In top center of cabbage, cut a "well" large enough to insert can of canned heat so top rim of can is level with top of cabbage. Set on platter and garnish with Marinated Cocktail Frankfurters, using toothpicks to fasten frankfurters to cabbage. Just before serving, light canned heat.
Lemon Pastel Pie
1 package Jell-O Lemon Dessert
1 1/4 cups boiling water
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 pint vanilla ice cream
1 baked 8-inch pie shell, cooled Dissolve the gelatin in boiling water in 2-quart saucepan. Add lemon rind and juice. Add ice cream by spoonfuls, stirring until melted. Then chill until thickened but not set (25 to 35 minutes). Turn into pie shell. Chill until firm (20 to 30 minutes). Garnish with whipped cream and mint leaves. * Technically, he's Australian so he's closer to being a savage like the likes of the US blogosphere than not but it's more fun to yank his tail and call him a (half) oppressor for living in London.