Unfuck Your Situation: It's Not a Gate, Not a Door

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2016-07-01

You already know logically that getting That Thing You Want is rarely a quick action. I mean, if getting promoted was just about dressing like your boss (pass) then we'd all be Queens of Everything. If all we had to do was swipe our credit card at Bloomies and hello new life! We'd all be living the lives we want to be living. Which is crazy thinking because no one is actually living the life they want to live.

But still here we are, a wishin' and a hopin' that if we just lose weight (No), get married (No), get divorced (No), have a baby (No), make more money (no), buy that thing we really want (no), everything will be Stepford perfect.

If none of that makes you happy, what's the point? GOD DEB YOU ARE SO DEPRESSING.

All of those things can help make you happy, but you have to expect those things to do the things they will actually do - losing weight will make you thinner and need new clothes, it will not cure your crushing depression. Getting married will legally bind you to another person (and possibly spiritually too, depending on your situation), it will not make you happy in your job. Getting divorce undoes the legal binding to another person, it will not stop you from emotionally eating. Having a baby will produce a tiny life that you are morally and legally responsible to, it will not get you and your partner to stop fighting about money. Making more money gives you more options and less debt potentially, it will not make your house clean. Buying the thing you want buys the thing you want, it does not give you long term happiness.

So, okay let's say you've started to really take all of that in and you've stared at your abyss, blahblahblah. Let's get crazy and even say that through your diligence through Witchcraft and boring work that you've accomplished what you've set out to accomplish. You are happy more than you're not, you make enough money for you to be comfortable as you define it, you feel mostly fulfilled, your spiritual practice is on point, your love life is more or less where you want it to be and your career is decent. You even recognize the Into the Woods conundrum that once you gain a level, it is not a magical static place, it is the next benchmark for your next big thing. You've been burning, you've been making pacts, you've been crushing it, you've been cataloguing terrors to wordlessly scream about into to beyou've been giving u

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