Queen Catherine of Aragon was sent into exile because she had the nerve to be aging and menopausal. A popular legend in that particular histo-mythic cycle is that Henry sent her away (sometimes, with Cromwell to do his dirty work for him because that was the kind of stand up guy he's remembered as) without saying good bye. She was once married to his older brother, in a castle in the wild and but Arthur got sweating sickness and died. They were married for less than a year. She then had her first encounter with exile where she lived somewhat modestly (again, accounts vary depending on the histo-mythic teller) and supposedly bargained for fish and sold her plate while her dad and her ex father in law dawdled over what to do with her. Her father was a war monger with a bunch of kids, he had no problem waiting. Her ex father in law held his country in a tight fist, he had been exiled so many times by his mother (Lady Margaret Beaufort) that he too could wait. Neither appeared to find this particularly cruel, and neither did seasoned politico warrior Lady M. Like . . .I get stressed out not knowing what's going to happen in a day while still being aware of certain potential outcomes. I don't know how stressful it is to not know what country you're going to live in and/or who you'll be married to. Queen Cat's ex father in law drops dead and she is married to Henry for almost twenty years when she receives the message, u had too many ded babies, lulz. super soz. going 2 marry anne bc babies + she is way hot. she will only put out if i put a ring on it. thx for nearly twenty years of marriage! Best of luck or whatever. Or, you know, no message past whatever Cromwell tried to piece together. Whatever the medieval royal equivalent of dipping out of a pack of cigs was.
She died in exile with only a few of her ladies and servants. Sometimes the wheel is in your favor, sometimes it's not. It was for a long time for Queen Cat, but she never planned for Queen Anne, partly because I don't think anyone, even someone who had headed a battle with Scotland like Queen Cat did, could have planned for Queen Anne.
Sometimes, the hardest part of exile is the people we have been exiled from. Either by our choice or theirs (sometimes both). Parents, siblings, friends, lovers, spouses, family, whole courts if you are particularly un/lucky and everyone else is either on the other person's side because they tell a better version of your story than you do or you weren't much beloved to begin with or the other person has too much power over the others for them to rise up for you. Even Mary, Queen of Scots usually couldn't get the North (of England) to rise up for her and she was hella glam and hella Catholic.
There is nothing more painful than this part of exile, Sister Queens. It's too soon for revenge because you will not be thoughtful enough to plan that properly. Your heart is a wasteland and everywhere you go, you know everyone knows something about you but you can only guess at what. During this time often, your position at court has been forfeited, your rank and title is called into question along with your deeds and those still associated with you, your goods are often seized and people now consider if they would like to associate with with because they will be associated with you. This has ever been the struggle, even in this modern life as (often) landless Queens - at work, in your family life, in your social circles, in your creative life and in your spiritual life. A boss has turned against you, a break up that causes a fracture in your circles, side choosing over social issues, scandal and gossip that you were involved in. To bring it down real low (like reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll low), Vicki on Real Housewives of the OC is currently in exile due to her exboyfriend Brooks who was involved in a cancer scandal that she was at the very least, complicit in. In turn, I'm positive that she was not only exiled from her realty television faux friends, but also likely saw repercussions in her business and in her professional career, at the very least. Possibly within her family and social groups as well because even though everyone knows reality television isn't particularly real, it's hard to know where that shred of truth in the lie resides.
How do you survive in that trying time when the people in your life are choosing alliances? How do you survive when a lover has played you false and now is flaunting their new whatever for all the world and you to see? How do you get through when you have been exiled from your coven? How do you go on when your coven exiles you? What do you do when an event or social group that once loved you has turned against you?
A note, to a Sister Queen who has recently felt the sting of exile from an ex-lover:
As you know, my thought process on these kinds of events are filtered through figuring out patterns and lessons and possible and probable outcomes because that's just so my world view. While I certainly take some time to reflect before moving on, I find that the Universe (with me) is generally like, Here's another whatever you just lost. Fuck that guy. So I'm at a point in life where I trust that will happen in a reasonable time frame. But another core part of me (besides grudgingly trusting in the Universe) is like, Fuck. You. You don't get to be my last whatever. You don't get that kind of power. You don't get that kind of power over me. I will replace you because I can replace everything and I will burn everything in the process if I have to. Every. Thing.
Obviously, if you know me at all, you know I value everyone in my life. But I also know that everything has a season blahblahblahturnwhatever. Everyone could die, everyone could leave, every relationship could break. So, like, when you know that and you've been through that a few times, it makes you value what you do have while keeping that in the back of your head.